What Do You Think, Buddy?

I know that I’ve said it before, but my two children are polar opposites.  My daughter forgets why she is in the car half of the time and sings and dances, no matter what and many times orders food at a restaurant that she doesn’t really want.  My son is a lot more like me, very calculated, sensitive and in tune with everything going on around him.  After a rough week at work, I was feeling pretty beat down with a lot of big decisions looming, I was driving him to coach soccer and in those 4 minutes, he asked me something so simple yet so mature.  Daddy, is everything OK with you?

I can’t put into words what that did to me, not only did it show his concern, but it also showed that I had been acting differently and we never want our children to know our burdens of real life.  It also got me thinking about involving him in my decision-making process as I have done before.  I decided to be candid with him and spent just a few minutes to explain what was going on, and tell him about some of the decisions that I am going to have to make in the coming months.  He never ceases to amaze me, he broke things down to his level and gave me his point of view on a few things and told me that he didn’t understand all of it.  His last statement was what really did it to me, he tells me that none of it really matters as long as the family is together, he added something about still having his video game too, but that kind of ruined the moment, so I’m deleting that part from my memory.

He is so good at this type of thing, around 8 months ago, I was working in a job that required me to travel almost 75% of the time and I was never home.  I was offered a new opportunity that allowed me to be home every day and stay in our current rented home.  He told me that he really liked his school and how much he liked living near my in-laws, my dad and my brother.  But Brennan is always thinking and later told me that if we could live near my mom, that would be OK too since she is alone in Virginia Beach since we moved back to MD.  He has a knack for putting things in perspective and I love that about him.

I let him pick the color of my company car and he went on test drives with me when I bought my last car and took note of his opinions, but we all knew that he wasn’t making the final decision.  His inputs were very important, he told me when cars were not comfortable in the back seat and if there wasn’t enough leg room, which ruled out a lot of the cars that I was looking at.  He really liked the car I chose because he could control his own temperature in the back, there was a cup holder for his water, and he thought it was really cool that he could climb through to the trunk when the armrest and secret door are pulled down.

I’m curious how many other parents involve their tiny humans in the decision making process, for big decisions.  I want them to feel involved but don’t want them to be overwhelmed.  Like most things when it comes to parenting, I believe we need to strike a good balance between inclusion and stress.  He is a constant thinker, which has caused him more stress than some kids, but I wouldn’t have him any other way.  My wife gave birth to a miniature sounding board and I love being able to see him grow every day!

Stay strong out there dads!